My story from rehab

I am onto my 5th consecutive day without coffee. I have gone 5 days without coffee before, except they were over about 3 months. Why am I depriving myself of the black crack, the hot heroin that charges the veins and awakens the senses you ask?

Well I'm in my small hometown where good coffee is hard to find and I thought it would be a good challenge. I'm not planning on doing it permanently, I mean, that would almost be social suicide- my fixie riding, kombucha brewing, crystal wearing and opshopping self would be nothing without a passion for single origin artisan roasted alternative brewing method filter coffee. Black. In a jar. With a yarn bombed crochet cosy. Of course.

Plus it inspires me to write this blog, read about it here

Going from my one to three a day to my none a day rule hasn't left me shaking with headaches like I thought it would. Phew, the dependency isn't as intense, apart from the 3pm slump coming at about 11am and the apple cider vinegar water tasting just as delicious as it sounds, I'm doing ok.

Yesterday I succumbed to turning the corner to try a new cafe (that has Allpress Coffee) and my ears almost inverted when they heard me utter those filthy filthy words: "I'll have a soy DECAF latte please"
Ugh. 
The disgust.
I couldn't make eye contact with the barista or anyone in the cafe. Even the cups on the bench gave me a dirty look. They were dirty cups coincidentally but I think you get the picture.
As the barista was making it I almost asked him to just make it a normal....a double shot, no soy, in fact just grind up the beans and I'll sprinkle them in my eye...but instead I gave a weak excuse and explanation about how I'm having a coffee break but in the dumb way, and then he asked me how I normally have it and we started some wanky coffee banter until he gave me my takeaway cup.

(insert discriptive paragraph that could be from an erotic novel about bringing the cup to my quivering lips and having the first sip that I've been craving in days)
But it's decaf. Doesn't really invoke the same emotion. It's about tantalising as light beer. Decaf is like the imitation Spice Girls Impulse body spray my mum bought me for my 8th Birthday, which was actually just Old Spice.

Just because some parts of the name are the same, they are no means the same.

(feel free to pause here to imagine 8 year old me wearing Old Spice)

Allpress decaf isn't bad.
Much better than apple cider vinegar water (which I am actually starting to enjoy) and the placebo effect of tottering the 50 metres down the main street with my scepter that is a takeaway cup in my hand made me feel fine. I have a friend who insists that he feels more powerful when holding a takeaway cup, like he is some kind of all hours dwelling artist. One time he even asked to hold my cup. One time I got a cup out of the bin for him to hold. 
I don't think he does it anymore.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
The tunnel is fragrant of green tea and lemon juice.
The light is next weekend when I have to drive for 6 hours after a wedding and will need liquid gold to power me across the country.

Gasoline, of course.
Black, with no sugar.

Jj