Feel the fear and do it anyway

This is a statement my mother used to often say. She says many great things, you can read some of them here. 

I am doing something that scares me- taking my one woman show across the ditch and home to NZ Fringe Festival.
There were many things that I was afraid of about this- aside from the usual questions of will anyone come, will they like it, will I suck fears that performers and producers have with any artistic venture, I had the fear of judgement from family members who haven't seen me perform since on the lawn as a child, critics who had never heard of me before, and being in a place where I have minimal industry contacts. 

To cut a long story short, this mantra got me through a pretty successful season, and has been at the front of my mind for the rest of the festival.

I have been doing hot yoga daily, and one of the themes in the classes is the courage to show up to the mat and just give all you can to the practice. No excuses, no negative self talk, but bravely backing yourself. For me growing up in a world where tall poppy syndrome is prolific, having courage and backing myself felt a lot like bragging. What I have realised, is that being open and excited to share what you are doing with people is not really a bad thing.

So normally, even though I am a pretty confident person who can hold a conversation with a brick; when it comes to industry things and people,  I become some sort of starstruck talentstruck groupie who sees someone they saw in a show and just stares at them awkwardly until they might muster a smile and then I just wait to be introduced by a friend.

Well, I've been feeling the fear and chatting to people anyway, regardless if they are in another show, a foyer, toilet or a random shop. I'm now performing in Newtown festival because I got talking to someone who commented on my outrageous banana phone cover in a cafe.  I got to workshop story telling with a man who used to write for Jimmy Carr. 

I'm telling you this because I want you to join me on this fearless mission.  What is fear stopping you from doing? Yoga? Talking to a friend or family member about an incident from years gone by that changed your relationship? Recording a video of that song you wrote and putting it on You Tube?

I met this guy the other week who was thinking of doing just that- recording a song he wrote and putting it on the internet, the first time anyone would hear him sing and play the guitar. He asked me how I go from performing in my bedroom to a room of strangers.

I told him that I just remember yes, the feeling of fear about doing the thing is scary, but it's not as strong as the feeling of regret from not doing the thing. 

It's like a game of would you rather for feelings...

Last night I got asked what I would do if I won half a billion dollars and only had a year to live, what would be the last thing I said. I said I would go back and tell all the people I never told I loved them what they mean to me and how they touched my life. From the old guy on the tram to drunk girls I've met in the bathroom, to men I have dated for short weeks, or had butterfly inducing crushes on. 

I don't have half a billon dollars, and provided all goes well, I should live more than a year.

So maybe I should feel the fear and do it anyway.

Jj