To confront or care.....

The line between being oversensitive, overbearing or a pushover is as foggy as your sunglasses in a steam room.

What I'm talking about is whether we confront or cower about things and people that upset us, or...not let them upset us at all.

Yesterday I had a participant of a class that begins 15 min after mine do a something I found quite rude and off putting. I mulled over whether to ignore it or ask her about it..... I chose the latter, and upon kindly asking her why she felt the need to encroach on my instruction, she rebutted and told me that I "have a problem."

Well, it left me feeling pretty lousy. I thought I was just standing up for myself in and adult way then a pretty small thing had turned to a bigger one and made me not want to return there if that's how I'm going to be spoken to. 

The people at the top noted what happened, and let me know that there are a few snappy old members around the place, I was not the first of the staff there who this has happened to.

Like the feeling of taking off your tight jeans at the end of a buffet, venting to my mother about it made everything better. I have dedicated a blog to her before, and still can't summons the words for how wise this woman is.

She reminded me that everyone is in their own shape for how we fit in society and get along in the world. 

One of these is fits is those with a "power theme", "control freaks" whatever you want to call it.

We might all have our power themes somewhere and just bring them out at different times-

Like the friend who, when you are out for a meal, doesn't let anyone eat till they take a picture of everyone and their food...

Or how your flatmate feels the need to direct you which way to go when YOU are driving YOUR car to the supermarket.

Or the mother who audibly judges then controls their adult child's choice in how they do their laundry.

The woman from yesterday was probably on her little power theme, and since standing up to it wasn't the best option, I just need to remember that she needs a chill pill.

Or a laxative.

She was probably full of shit.

Some people just need to let it go.

But if they can't, then you have to.

Don't let yourself be hooked into someone else's power theme. With severe control freaks we don't get bothered by them controlling everything because we know "it's just how they are" and they don't mean any harm by it. However not everyone is an outlier on the spectrum and therefore harder to ignore when they do something untoward.

To that I have formulated this mantra:

(The rhyming works best if said in a really okka accent, Kath n Kim style)

"You are in charge of how you feel,

Everyone else can take a chill pill.

Don't be reactive, imagine them with a lax(a)tive. Fight off the crocodile, give them a smile."

Jj