As a performer I can get extremely jealous.
Scratch that.
As a woman I can get extremely jealous.
Scrunch that up.
As I human I get extremely jealous.
Yes.
On Sunday I sung in just a wee soirée that my teacher puts on as a chance for her students to practice what they have been working on in front of an audience. It's a totally safe environment, and everyone sings songs they are comfortable with.
I found myself admiring the various performers but at the same time getting quite jealous and feeling rather inadequate that I can't or never will be able to sing like they will. It's a feeling that bubbles up every now and again, and it even used to control me.
One thing my 'journey of self-discovery' - which is a fancy name for growing up and dealing with life has made me appreciate the classic-
"Be yourself, everyone else is taken."
But when everyone else is better, thinner, smarter, richer than you, this can be hard to listen to.
You don't hear the "be yourself" or see what is great about you because your eyes are too green.
Before these feelings make you or me want to go under the knife, or get out a knife, let's step back and listen to logic.
Logically, I know what there is no way I can sing and make the same sound as someone else because my head isn't shaped the same as theirs and the way the sound resonates around and out of the body can't be replicated by someone of a different shape.
What?
So because my head is a different shape to Beyoncé's I need to stop being jealous of her singing.
And Beyoncé's head is a different shape to Delta Goodrem's so she should be jealous of her singing.
(Or lack thereof)
(Lol Beyoncé, jealous, as if.)
To want what you don't have, and always feel a huge amount of dissatisfaction when comparing to others is even more common now thanks to idolising celebrities and even your friends who can take perfect selfies, go on the best holidays and do the most amazing craft projects.
So whilst you or I are feeling jealous, others are probably feeling it too.
The way we perceive ourselves compared to how others perceive us is all relative to so many different factors like how we were bought up, what is important to us and our self-esteem.
Toss all these into a pot along with some of the latest social-media image crafting and a dash of failure to meet expectations, it's no wonder it turns us green with envy.
Green is the colour of trees.
Trees are natural.
Jealousy is natural.
Recognising it as natural, and not letting it overcome you is key.
What is even more key, is to focus on our own paths to complete so there is no need to compete.
"Today you are you, that's truer than true. There is no-one alive that's youer than you!"
-Dr Seuss
Jj

Absolutely,Joana.
ReplyDeleteTo be able articulate the current obsession with perfection as determined by random celebs, is nothing short of a gift. How does it feel to be defined as the Kardashion generation?
Disappointing to know that our aspirations are set by such shallow values driven by greed and the need for fame.
You have it all and yet you see only your imperfections, and yet when I see your photos and follow your blogs, I think how fantastic to be so sucessful, such a fabulous dancer, to look stunningly beautiful and I am jealous!!!!!
Jealous of your youth, your energy, your vitality and beauty.
I guess we are all programmed to compare ourselves to those we see as having it all.
And yet the most humbling of facts is that those in Gaza would be jealous of our luxury to measure our expectations against such frivilous benchmarks.
Even the opportunity to freely blog our thoughts unsolicited is a luxury.
Bring on more blogs and stay rooted in the real world of values that make a difference.
The real world is not plastic
Judy
Thank you so much for your insightful and wise comment Judy. You are completely right!
DeleteThanks for the support too, Joana