Me....Cool?

The other day I wore a hand-me over shirt and used odd earrings to pin the collar in a more flattering way. The girls I had just done dance class with told me that I looked really cool (I also had my rockstar boots on) and one of them complemented me that I often look cool.

I was as equally shocked and stoked about this just the same as how I am equally in love with avocado and marshmallows. (Separately)

The reason being because I was not really expecting me being a little crafty and adjusting my clothing in such a way would earn me the "cool" status.

Quirky* maybe

But not cool.

And it got me thinking- firstly, the title of cool is subjective and ever changing. Remember when bell-bottom jeans and snap pants were cool? And your idea of cool could be different to mine, just like people's idea of funny and dull conflict.



But more poignantly I realised that some of the coolest people I know are this way because they do not try and conform to any kind of label (and yes I mean label as in Gucci and also label as in 'indie' 'preppy' 'boho' etc)
And reflecting on myself and what these comrades of mine said, I've come to realise that when I'm me I'm probably the coolest I can be.

"Maybe some of the coolest people are the ones who don't care about being cool" - Steve Carell

Nice one Steve.

The weird thing is is that so many people try to be cool when the essence of being cool itself means not trying, so really what they are doing is probably producing the opposite of their desired effect. 

 Two pivotal moments when I learnt that the version of myself that is trying to conform to some cosmopolitan-Hollywood-Made in Chelsea-So You Think You Can Dance version of cool is actually not as endearing, fearless, hearty and alluring as the bike riding-second-hand-odd earring-scneans-fannypack-smoothie in a jar version of myself were:

1.  When I first visited NZ after living in Melbourne and was trying to prove that I had changed and was now all city slicker and dance industry sticker when it turned out all I did was bicker than thank god for my sister who told me that she remembered the 'old me' and really did miss her and that this new clone isn't as employable as the old me. I cannot thank her enough for that, think of it often and attribute that conversation as a catalyst to the development of my personality (and subsequently this blog)

2. When we were discussing who would be the next host of an Urban Dance Industry Night in Melbourne ( www.undergroundmelbourne.com ) I jokingly said "Ha I'm not cool enough to do that"

And a girl who is pretty awesome and has like 900 instagram followers said "Yeah but that's the best thing about you; that you're not cool. And you don't care."

"I am so cool" I said in my asics and Nike t-shirt that belonged to my housemate's dad

"You're not, but that's what is great"

.....I was unsure whether to be embarrassed or enlivened, but I guess this anti-complement has stuck with me and made me brave enough or not care enough whether you are going to think this is cool or not.

Because your opinion is yours. You are you, I am me, and whether you think it's cool or not, I am learning it's cooler and easier for me to be.....me.

Jj

*quirky is one of those compliments I struggle to figure out if it's positive or not.... it's like when the first thing you say about someone's haircut is- "it sure is DIFFERENT"

Waiting for a mate......

I am currently sitting on the floor of a fairly fancy South-of-the-Yarra train station waiting for a friend to drop off something of mine I left in their car. They are now 20 min later than they said they would be, so since I'm already dressed like a hermit in my raincoat and runners (yes this is also classified as Hipster attire but in this suburb it's hermit: a fine line, I know) I have decided to act like one too, by sitting on a newspaper and covering myself with it. If I'm lucky, I might be thrown some change, but it would also be very insulting.

I see it's a good people watching opportunity, and gives me a chance to observe those outside the station waiting to rendezvous. There is always hunger, desperation and frustration in their eyes. Some look expectantly from side to side like the Hamburgler approaching a BBQ, or a cat about to sneak up and steal your sausage.....
Others obsessively check their phone like a #hashtaghussy who has just uploaded the latest selfie. Then you have the ones who are slightly swaying from one foot to the other, correcting their hair and clothing; more self conscious than your 16 year old sister at her first real party, (eyeliner and alcopops n all!)

Whenever I wait outside a station or something I feel like I am some sort of secret agent waiting to either scope the place out, or blow the place up. One of the most awkward things about waiting or meeting someone at a specified landmark is when you see them approaching from about 50m away you wave, then have watch them walk toward you. What are you supposed to do?
Wave again? Keep waving? Start talking which would actually be yelling because you are still far away? Blow them a balloon animal and float it over to them to be your welcoming party?
I always feel like I should do a slow motion run like a star-crossed lover, or pretend to trip up, or as I am doing now, just continue to read the newspaper (which is providing me with warmth and also disguising me so that instead of a human I look like a giant paper mache, like the one I did in year five but that was a paper mache whale.....I'm sure the resemblence will be clear.)

I wasn't there, but I imagine that in ye olden days, before we send people a google maps dropped pin to tell them where to meet us, people were a lot more specfic about where, when and how they were going to meet up. If your mate was late, you wait. But your mate was less likely to be late because they would navigate the place you state to collaborate and conversate.

 Instead of txts like "I'm going out tonight, come, txt me when you are here I'll tell you where I am"
People would have communicated with ye olde letters with the brown edges like the ones you also made at school by staining them with tea or coffee and burning them a bit, yeah those ones, and would have looked like this "I shalt be waiting at ye tea rooms at 2 of the clock three Thursdays from henceforth. Please meet me there at the back table to the right of the fire place and we can thusly parambulate around the town until the cock crows five."
No way would those plans be able to be cancelled in a hurry coz by the time you cut down the tree and pummel the bark to make paper to let them know you can't come coz you are washing your hair that day, you might as well go (I reckon this explans some of ye olde hair styles, peeps kept making appointments on hair washing days. That and ye olden days people washed their hair with beer and stuff)

Edward Verrall Lucas said

“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.” 

 

Speaking of jolly..here comes my mate now (who has txt me about 3 times updating his location and reasons for being late) so time for me to escape my paper palace, smashe out of the mache, hear the explaination for the delay-tion and keep my assets safe.

 

 

Jj



How to bus

Sometimes, in our lives, when we have to get somewhere, we take a bus. This process can be exhausting, tyre-ing and can drive you mad; not to mention the fuss one must thrust into singing on the bus with lust. 

 Here is a step by step guide to ensuring your bus trip is bus-ting and bus-tling with enough fun to spin your wheels and toot your horn.

Step 1.

Wear fresh underwear. 

You know what they say about getting hit by a bus because you were negligent about your knickers; proper panties are even more important when partaking on a bus trip because accidents start with skids.

Step 2.

Timetable and ticket.

"She's got a ticket to ride, and she don't care."

She's an idiot. She was a day tripper and found herself on the highway to hell because she didn't care. All she needed was someone to say hey Jude, look at the timetable or you'll be on the road to nowhere.

Someone needs to be speaking words of wisdom sort out the details and not just let it be.

Step 3.

Beverages and bladders.

Whilst it may seem cosy and atmospheric to enjoy various beverages on a bus, remember that the bathrooms on these things are about the size of that coffee cup you brought onboard. To avoid leakages, limit your liquids and refuel when necessary.

Step 4.

Entertainment.

Conventionally, one stays occupied with singing, eye spy, spilling your bag of chips and getting motion sickness.

Nowadays, busses are equipped with VCR players, out of tune am radios, and if you have gone deluxe-a crazy person to talk to in the isle across from you. Whilst portable digital devices are entertaining, they cannot compare to Dave the Driver or Bill the Busman's stories. Always wearing a smile, shorts, walk socks, sweat marks and a middle age spread; bus drivers work those crackly microphones better than a British bogan works on their tan. 

 

Step 5.

Arrival and disembarking.

If you have followed steps 1-4, it's time to step off the bus. Ensure you have assembled your things to avoid awkward aisle blockages and have your excuse ready for why you don't want to give the crazy person your Facebook name. As you are released from your multi-seated, multi-wheeled moving prison, take in the sights and sounds as hopefully you have actually travelled somewhere different to where you boarded. And remember-

If you've got to go far; take your car. If it's just a small hike; take your bike.

If you don't want to get stuck; take a truck.

If you are a cool man; take your van.

If you enjoy pain; you'll take the train.

If you live life to the maxi; you'll just take a taxi.

If smart you are not; you'll try take a yacht. 

And if you take the bus; it will be wonderous.

Jj

23 discoveries

So this is my final week as a 23 year-old.

Just before my 6th Birthday, my big brother decided that I had to celebrate my "last day of Five" by playing rugby on the lawn.
The only things I really remember is him coaxing me to tackle him to prove that I was ready to turn six, and getting a lot of dirt up my nose, because I spend most of the game on the ground.....down, but not defeated.

So I have decided to compile a list as a way to reflect on the discoveries I have made since my last birthday; with the hope that the next one will bring just as many, if not more since I will be 24!

1. You become what you practice most
2. Red lipstick is essential
3. Coconut Oil is the most versatile substance in the world. It's good for you. All of you.
4. Always give that compliment you were thinking of
5. It's better to get someone's phone number than Facebook contact, and follow it up
6. Fish pedicures are the strangest and most wonderful things
7. Dipping a choc top in popcorn at the movies is amazing
8. I learnt how to #eatsleepraverepeat
9. The Scottish people are far nicer, funnier and drunker than the English

10. Going home before 1 am is a good option

11. Staying up till sunrise then continuing the day therefore cheating time is also a good option

12. The Green Refectory in Brunswick

13. Taking mental snapshots and reliving them does more than any amount of "likes"

14. Pirate Juice

15. Don't get a wax then fall asleep in the Spanish sun

16. 10 cents is better than no cents (sense)

17. Green smoothies 

18. I am one of the luckiest daughters and siblings in the world to have such a smart, creative and respectful family.

19. Go for quality not quantity when it comes to: friends, clothes, chocolate, drinks, selfies

20. I re-discovered New Zealand banter, ingenuity and humility

21. Tongan children will love to sit on your knee, regardless of if you are a stranger or there is poo in their pants

22. Breathing and meditation should never be underestimated

23. Fall in love with life

That's it really..... reflecting like this reminds us that every moment or opportunity provides us with a lesson. Just like my English teacher used to babble on- it's up to us whether we take notes.

Jj

Let it go, let em flow

Sometimes being strong means holding on, sometimes it's letting go.

One friend described me as a chocolate that has a hard exterior and a soft, goey centre. I guess in someways we all have a soft centre yet sometimes are expected to have hardened shells. You can't really get much done in life if you are just in a constant state of goey mush.

It's a shame that there are certain expectations on showing emotion. If you think about it, the British stoicism and "stiff upper lip" concept a few of us or our parents were bought up with can be really contradicted by the whiney tweets and Facebook status' that clutter our minds in life.....(the ones which, if you have seen a car accident or a dog try nuzzle and revive it's dead owner lately, will not pull your heart strings at all)

Why is it that some people feel so comfortable opening up and expressing themselves emotionally on various digital mediums, yet when it comes to letting people know how we feel in person, run faster than uni students do torward a happy hour, or babble like a fare-evader?

I consider myself fairly in touch with my spectrum of emotions which can change colour from one moment to the next  (apparently that's quite typical for an Aeries)

However this week I had to "put off" getting upset about losing someone dear to me because the moment wasn't appropriate.

I knew it was in there, and tried to be strong by holding on.

When I finally let it go (or shall I say let the tears flow) , I realised that holding on was making me weak. Gripping tightly and bottling things up can get exhausting. Sometimes you just need to let that upper lip tremble.

And get your mascara all smudged, and have a snotty nose.

And reflect and revive after.

Why do we exercise, strengthen, stretch and fine tune our bodies, but don't explore the flexibility or our emotions?

I'm sure there are plenty of answers about cultural expectations etc out there, though for your average muggle who hasn't pondered this before or doesn't know the answer....I reccommend asking yourself this one.

It wouldn't be an efficient way to live with your arm tied behind your back....

You'll find it's more efficient to let it go.

Jj