It's only awkward if you make it awkward

Lots of people like to say "it's only awkward if you make it awkward." Yes; this saying can mostly be applicable. For example, if you accidentally walk in on someone in the loo, you can apologise and back off or you can start trying to explain yourself whilst making it obvious you aren't looking then realise you are still standing in the toilet door when you should be minding your own business and leave whoever is sitting on the toilet to do their business.

"It's only awkward if you make it awkward" if you get drunk and vomit on your boyfriend's shoes. Or when you get drunk and fall over onto the road. Actually when you get drunk in general can tend to make things awkward especially if you get drunk and fall over onto your friend's face and end up pashing them for a good 40min till you realise that you have to see them at school the next day and it will be SOOOOO AWKWARD (but only if you make it awkward) so in avoidance of such a situation you attempt to bring it up, laugh and high-five about it but that goes all wrong and suddenly you accidentally slapped their butt and it's worse than last night.....plus you have a hangover.

One thing some of my peers and I commonly find a dubious dose of awkward is the limbo between a handshake, kiss, hug, fist bump and high five that we have when we greet people.

I'm talking about when you meet someone (normally a friend of a friend) for the first time and they go for the handshake then you pull them in for a kiss but not a hug and they went for a hug so you kiss their ear and they don't get a hug but a bump with your chest, then you back off from each other as sheepishly as someone who was busted picking their wedgie at work. Or you really just don't know what to do so stand there with your arms hanging lifelessly at your side and give them a wee smile and say "How ya going yeah good nice to meet you not bad thanks" simultaneously. 
Now THAT is awkward.

It's even worse when the stakes are higher.....last week I had to cross the street and re-do the greeting I had with a friend (the one whose face I fell over onto and pashed years ago, hence stakes of awkward being higher) as we moved our heads side to side to find the customary kiss on cheek then hug greeting but almost kissed on the lips and things got almost got more awkwardly heated than the "Next week on Days of our Lives" teaser.

If you are lost at what actually happened here, it's ok. 

I am too.

I just hope it is not going to happen again.

I guess because we now live in such culturally diverse societies, all types of greetings from around the world have become an option. Being from NZ I had a small issue with kissing on the cheek upon greeting like the Aussies do, yet no issue giving a hongi which is the touching of noses. Then the cheek kissing became natural and difficult to hold back when I returned to NZ. Latinos and some Europeans have no problem with kissing and hugging and touching everyone, Anglos can be more held back, and in India, Grandparents are not to be hugged, you are supposed to touch their feet and receive blessings for a long life, a speedy marriage, numerous children, etc. Kissing is a big no-no. Only infants are to be publicly kissed. Got that?

Maybe we need to invent some sort of universal signal that shows what sort of physical greeting you are up for. Some people have different physical barriers, and a good handshake is better than a bad hug. But a bad handshake?

I'd rather have a head butt. 

Then at least I'd be unconscious to notice if it's awks or not. 

Jj