A message or a wank-fest

This is my second attempt at writing a post today.

The first is super bland, was going to be a collection of quotes about vulnerability and stuff because it's kinda poignant in at the moment and as they say, write what you know.

But I couldn't finish it because it feels inauthentic and just putting words out there for words sake and my last few posts have felt like that to be honest.  The 'Stories, Sentiments and sometimes Stupidity' of late haven't been so much any of those things because I have been trying to find the balance between giving honest tales from my life/keeping my private life private/lessons I'm learning and lessons in general, and as a result I haven't been *vomits in mouth* writing from my truth. *vomits on shoes*

It's like this

 This year I have been super fortunate to see lots of work and critique it and write about it and I have come to learn that unless we write what's real, it doesn't work as well. Kind of like the difference between low fat and real icecream. What's the point? 

Low fat icecream makes us feel kind of like we are having ice cream but it doesn't give us that satisfied "oh that was so good I am going to remember this" sensation that the real creamy satiating stuff does.

BUT..... Whilst we want to write/make/perform/sing from our truth (serve full fat icecream)- spread a message (give people deliciousness) or whatever, I believe it has to be done in a way that is still entertaining and clever (well presented Full fat icecream, not just fat and sugar). Hence we come to the enigma that is:

Creating with a message that isn't a wank-fest.

Sorry mum and dad and everyone else, I said wank. But that's just it- it's the fact that I've been worried about ruffling a few feathers lately that's made me write things which are a watered down-politicallycorrect-parentalguidancefifteen version of what I have actually been thinking. 

And really; how good a term is "wank-fest" ? Now I'm not Stephen Fry, but I betcha no other term suits what I'm on about.

It can be scary putting our truths out there like this. I worry every week that people aren't going to like or read what I write, and sometimes that fear has made me try change what I write to something I think they will want to read or like but that just compromises the power of it, like making icecream you don't like the taste of but you heard all the cool people like matcha so you make matcha icecream which tastes like poo let's be honest when people eat it they say
"How macha you charging for this shit?"

(sorry again mum and dad and everyone else, maybe your eyeballs need some safety equipment or trigger warning or something for these rude words I'm using...it was for the pun you see, soz had to be there totes lol FML.)

And no one eats it and you realise you should have made the full fat tasty icecream you liked instead of following everyone else, combined with adding good things to it that you might not think of, like chocolate chips. 

A wank-fest is defined as something completely different on Urban Dictionary to what I am using it for here. Here I am talking about when someone is putting on a show or a thing that is purely for their own benefit- "look at me I'm deep "  "look at my struggle depicted through this dance accompanied to the sound of hardcore violins" "I am so artistic I don't need an explanation for why you paid $30 for come and see us breathe and scream and pour water on eachother" (which might also happen at the Urban Dictionary version of Wankfest)

But how do we do this? I'm still figuring it out. For my last show, I couldn't have done it without the help of other people who tore it to shreds and put me in check (refer back to The Creative Process)

Anyone can let their deepest darkest or most loving or happiest or sexiest moments out for people to see. It's those who can make it entertaining and memorable who truly are the legends.

A message that comes from their experience but is put across to us in a way that makes us think of our experience which is unique but we connect all the same. But we need to have a little wank-fest to get there.

In the words of Elizabeth Gilbert 

"The middle bit is messy. But it's also where the magic happens."

And so here I am, finally completed a post with minimal copy paste, a slight ruffling of feathers, all truth and hopefully delivered in a way that is entertaining rather than ranty.

Let me know what you think...share posts that can educate me on this balance etc.

Jj