The end of a year-a.

With one day left of 2016, many people are wanting to speed up time and kick 2016 out the door like a guest that stays at a dinner party well past coffee and cake and the hosts are looking at their watches and saying "gee, it's late" "hmm, I've got an early start tomorrow" "are you going to be ok getting home?" etc.

Normally, I have a mini freak out about the passing in time in general, forgetting the small successes and looking at the big things that I have or haven't achieved- this post from April 2015 confirms that, read it here.

2015 wasn't the best for me, so I was super keen to see the new dawn of the New Year with fresh eyes and fresh hair and fresh underwear. (A New Year's resolution that is relatively achievable, and far classier than I expected, as they say, it's what's underneath that counts.)

12 months on, unlike most other people on my news feed (which is, embarrassingly enough, the only place I am reading "news" at the moment) I am not wanting 2016 to end, because it has been a fantastic year for me. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count my blessings. 

If you are struggling to count your blessings, either because you have olives/Burger Rings/Doughnuts on your fingers, here is a list a friend shared that a dude in England called Matt Strange wrote. I could tell you more about Matt Strange, but I haven't stalked him enough as I was feeling a bit strange about it to be honest.

Here's the good things that happened in 2016:

There's an Ebola Vaccine now
Child Mortality - Down across the globe
+9% survival rate in pacreatic cancer sufferers
Gene responsible for ALS found
Volunteers in India planted 50 Million trees in 24 hours
Suicide rates down globally
The Ozone layer is repairing itself
The Rabbinical assembly issued a resolution affirming the rights of trans and non conforming individuals
MIND CONTROLLED ROBOT ARMS
Leo got dat Oscar
Wild tigers numbers up FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 100 YEARS
Giant Pandas - No longer endangered
A solar powered plane did a fucking world trip
Global Malaria down by 60%
Measels ERADICATED from the Americas
93% of the world's children learned to read and write - the highest percentage IN HUMAN HISTORY
China plans to be completely renewable by 2020 and has a global plan for by 2050
Huge global push in renewable energy
Norway committed 0 deforestation, 0
Every major grocer and fast food chain in the U.S pledged to use cage free eggs only by 2025
Manatees - No longer endangered
Wild Wolves - Back in Europe
Wild Salmon spawning in the Connecticut river for the first time since the American revolution
Columbian white tailed deer - no longer endangered
Green Sea Turtles - NO LONGER ENDANGERED
Sea World no longer breeding captive killer whales
Humpback Whales - NO LONGER ENDANGERED
Global aid - up by 7%
Americas most generous year EVER in charity and aid
China's most generous year EVER in charity and aid at $15 goddamn Billion

Yes, some famous people you liked died, and you know what - more of them are gonna go too

but take some time to look at the good and beauty in this world, good stuff is happening, learn it, support it, be part of it.

THANKS MATT!

Huzzah for all the animals not being endangered. If this list has tortoise anything, it's that we should be celebrating!

Jj

Of Comfort and Joy

Ahhhh, we are in the blissful period between Christmas and New Year where the stress of gift buying is over and the stress of having to set and achieve resolutions is a week away.

It's a time to do three of my favourite things- eating, reflecting, and drinking.

The drinking is sometimes a result of the reflecting (positive or negative) or sometimes the drinking is the catalyst of the drinking. The reflecting is a result of the eating and the drinking (negative) and the drinking is a result of the eating and reflecting and it's all one wonderful flow chart venn diagram that I would make for you but I don't have such software installed; so instead here is another diagram, which is kind of related and copied from the internet.

I have been lucky enough to soak up the family time and deliciousness and am feeling more than warm and fuzzy. Judging by the amount of cheese I consumed, I think warm and tubby is more appropriate- and since I ate so much cheese, I have every reason to make this blog post extremely cheesy. After all, you can't go on about Christmas Crackers without cheese.

Being the youngest of 4 children, our Christmas' have always been pretty epic, and this year was extra special because we had two new babies whose first Christmas it was. The way that they saw everything with such new, interested perspectives was refreshing and a wonderful reminder of what is really important. 

They received the most presents but were more interested in the paper. 

They were happy with just sitting on the floor together and playing with their feet.

They looked in our eyes for long periods of time and smiled.

They were more interested in cuddles than posing for photos.

All they want is comfort and they bring us much joy.

The sentiment makes more sense that way.

(cue reflective sigh)

(the kind of reflective sigh that doesn't require drinking rather cues another reflective sigh and slight worry about my early onset nostalgia for yesterday)

Here's a few things I have reflected on -

1. I got given many new pairs of socks for Christmas, which means I will be able to purge my old socks and throw them away. I reflected on how excited I am about this and how it means I must really be coming into my late 20s.

2. While writing this list I have sent 2 messages, watched a video and looked at photos which means I really need to sharpen my focus.

3.  2016 has bought me many things, though this past week has taught me there haven't been enough sunsets or beach bonfires.

4. I'm not 100% into symbolism, but I believe lightening bolts on things make you go faster.

5. The best presents I received was the presence of my whole family. (Be warned- It's that sort of reflecting that is the catalyst for drinking)

Jj

A message or a wank-fest

This is my second attempt at writing a post today.

The first is super bland, was going to be a collection of quotes about vulnerability and stuff because it's kinda poignant in at the moment and as they say, write what you know.

But I couldn't finish it because it feels inauthentic and just putting words out there for words sake and my last few posts have felt like that to be honest.  The 'Stories, Sentiments and sometimes Stupidity' of late haven't been so much any of those things because I have been trying to find the balance between giving honest tales from my life/keeping my private life private/lessons I'm learning and lessons in general, and as a result I haven't been *vomits in mouth* writing from my truth. *vomits on shoes*

It's like this

 This year I have been super fortunate to see lots of work and critique it and write about it and I have come to learn that unless we write what's real, it doesn't work as well. Kind of like the difference between low fat and real icecream. What's the point? 

Low fat icecream makes us feel kind of like we are having ice cream but it doesn't give us that satisfied "oh that was so good I am going to remember this" sensation that the real creamy satiating stuff does.

BUT..... Whilst we want to write/make/perform/sing from our truth (serve full fat icecream)- spread a message (give people deliciousness) or whatever, I believe it has to be done in a way that is still entertaining and clever (well presented Full fat icecream, not just fat and sugar). Hence we come to the enigma that is:

Creating with a message that isn't a wank-fest.

Sorry mum and dad and everyone else, I said wank. But that's just it- it's the fact that I've been worried about ruffling a few feathers lately that's made me write things which are a watered down-politicallycorrect-parentalguidancefifteen version of what I have actually been thinking. 

And really; how good a term is "wank-fest" ? Now I'm not Stephen Fry, but I betcha no other term suits what I'm on about.

It can be scary putting our truths out there like this. I worry every week that people aren't going to like or read what I write, and sometimes that fear has made me try change what I write to something I think they will want to read or like but that just compromises the power of it, like making icecream you don't like the taste of but you heard all the cool people like matcha so you make matcha icecream which tastes like poo let's be honest when people eat it they say
"How macha you charging for this shit?"

(sorry again mum and dad and everyone else, maybe your eyeballs need some safety equipment or trigger warning or something for these rude words I'm using...it was for the pun you see, soz had to be there totes lol FML.)

And no one eats it and you realise you should have made the full fat tasty icecream you liked instead of following everyone else, combined with adding good things to it that you might not think of, like chocolate chips. 

A wank-fest is defined as something completely different on Urban Dictionary to what I am using it for here. Here I am talking about when someone is putting on a show or a thing that is purely for their own benefit- "look at me I'm deep "  "look at my struggle depicted through this dance accompanied to the sound of hardcore violins" "I am so artistic I don't need an explanation for why you paid $30 for come and see us breathe and scream and pour water on eachother" (which might also happen at the Urban Dictionary version of Wankfest)

But how do we do this? I'm still figuring it out. For my last show, I couldn't have done it without the help of other people who tore it to shreds and put me in check (refer back to The Creative Process)

Anyone can let their deepest darkest or most loving or happiest or sexiest moments out for people to see. It's those who can make it entertaining and memorable who truly are the legends.

A message that comes from their experience but is put across to us in a way that makes us think of our experience which is unique but we connect all the same. But we need to have a little wank-fest to get there.

In the words of Elizabeth Gilbert 

"The middle bit is messy. But it's also where the magic happens."

And so here I am, finally completed a post with minimal copy paste, a slight ruffling of feathers, all truth and hopefully delivered in a way that is entertaining rather than ranty.

Let me know what you think...share posts that can educate me on this balance etc.

Jj