Middle Talk and Five minute friends

I read an article, I want to say in one of the glossy lift outs of the Sunday paper, but it could have been the interwebs about the concept that is middle talk. It's the step above small talk, where we have authentic connections with people rather than an average un-energised run of the mill interrogation.


Although being vunerable and asking a more in depth personal question can be scary, I'd choose it over the conversational version of a stale rice cracker any day. Asking people what they do for fun rather than to make a living, or what the most challenging part of their job is. Lately something I've been asking is if people would rather be able to beatbox or breakdance. Slight curveball, decision is often split. It's tricky though, because sometimes you just don't want to talk to a stranger, like me with my uber driver on the way to the airport on Sunday morning when I'd had about 45 min sleep and he had had none and wanted to play bangerz and I wanted to sit in silence (but not live with feaaaarrrrrrr, ooooohhhh whhhoooaaaaa whoooaaaaaaaaaaaa)

I've been making all kinds of middle talk for the past month as I have been on the hunt for a house, housemates, and subletters. It's like speed-dating, the ultimate challenge to put one's bestself out there.

Another concept that has been introduced to me is that of a five minute friend. A lovely lady I met in T2 (a fancy tea shop that has delicious samples and amazing brewing accessories) told me about this. You get that feeling when you walk into a shop like this one, where the sales assistant is so welcoming you end up talking about things other than the "just browsing for a birthday gift." I talked so much to this new five minute friend I ended up finding her custom jewellery company and she made me an amazing crystal (more on that later.)

I have made many Five minute friends over the million minutes of my life. Most of which are drunk girls in the bathrooms of clubs, one was a dude in a sauna who turned out to be in the psyc ward, another was while waiting in line at the night markets, a guy who loaned me a pen to fill out my departure card one time and many people at bike shops, shoe shops, health food stores and trams. 

What makes a five minute friend? 

An openness, honesty and good sense of humour
I guess it takes confidence to strike up or continue a conversation with a stranger from the usual niceties to something more enticing. 
You never know, five minute friends can turn into 15 minute friends which turns into Facebook friends, or even better, phone number friends and next thing you know you have free tickets to an art exhibition that has free alcohol and free soap (well that's in the bathroom which is part of OH&S but it's Aesop which is a luxury item and sweetens the scent of the deal somewhat) and just like that, you have a real friend.

I say it almost as much as I say "hugs and smiles are free"- but for those of you who haven't read this in a post of mine for a while- in a world where are are so connected it's so easy for us to go through the day and not connect with a single person who passes us by. When you are on hold on the phone with your internet company, five minutes is a long time. Make it a good time, every chance you have.

Apologies for no witty pictures on this post, my laptop can't right click and I have no mouse. Instead, I'll leave you with this haiku about middle talk and five minute friends.

I look in your eyes

I don't know you now I do

I feel like I'm home

Jj