Perspiration, Patience and Persistence

I'm not complaining about it.

I haven't been able to wear makeup for weeks because it slides off my skin in this South East Asian heat. Most of the sweat comes from teaching dancing, riding my bicycle and eating curry though.

The classroom I'm mostly working in has no fan. It's 32 degrees and outside the kids are burning rubbish. Yes, the rubbish from the classroom is dumped at the back of the school and burnt there. The smoke wafts into the open windows and unsettles my already unsettled stomach. They are un-phased. Some are wearing jeans under their school skirts, ready to work.

One of my main aims in working as a volunteer for Move teaching dance in schools in Kampot, Cambodia, is to try and push the children to be creative with their bodies themselves. They are great at copying me (got Gangnam Style down) but when I ask for them to do their own thing, it's resulted in them either copying me or doing nothing. Until this week. I got them to do an activity I learnt from Sarah Boulter (renowned Australian Contemporary dance choreographer) where the students pretend they have an eyeball on their elbow and the eyeball has to see every part of the room, so they have to find ways to move to make it do so. After a slow start, there was a room of organic, unique movement. The next time around, they copied me again, but we got there eventually.

Most of the kids have minimal English. While I think I am good at communicating visually, my gestures are for English words, not Khmer. From what I have seen, they aren't an over the top physical culture anyway. I would be lost without the local teachers here, who translate and also teach me how to teach them, what they respond to, etc. It takes a lot of patience and persistence to get an instruction across.

Next week we are doing a performance of two dances and a Maori song and dance I have taught them. Normally, before a performance of any kind, I'm running or having intense rehearsals where we do it over and over, cleaning each movement, and if anyone has missed more than one rehearsal, they usually can't do the performance. In 32 degrees and no fan, these conditions make things somewhat different. Whatever effort these young people make is an achievement. 

I won't miss wringing out my t-shirts, but I will miss a lot more.
Like the 75 cent beers I'm about to go and drink. 

Jj

Kampot: comfortably outside the comfort zone

I'm 1.5 weeks into my month stay here in Kampot, Cambodia, where I have come to teach dance as a volunteer to kids in schools. 

This place is amazing. There's resorts, rivers, bars, cafes, yoga, great street food and wonderful people. It's pretty comfortable to be honest, still, it's not Kansas/ Melbourne/ Wellington.

It's rainy season, mosquitos, hot, challenging and the pace is completely different. 

So whilst I can be comfortable, I'm trying to be outside my comfort zone.

Like the other night, where I played guitar and sang at an open mic.....I've been teaching myself guitar for 4 months and it was the first time I played in front of anyone who wasn't my cat or a few friends. Man, I sucked. I wanted to run away, far far away. The last time I had that feeling what when I was teaching a pump class still drunk from the night before (long ago; for that story, you need to come to my show!)

The work I'm doing teaching dancing is same same but very different to anything I've done before. Simply getting the students into groups takes 5 minutes. As cliche as it sounds, it's very rewarding. When they get it, they clap and say thank you and I just want to take them all home. 

The pace and way about doing things has been a test to my patience, I'm not normally someone who is comfortable with disorganisation or breakdown in communication. I'm learning that just like the dogs that run the streets here, there's some things you can't control.

I often talk about bravery and leaning into discomfort- basically trying to get comfortable being outside the comfort zone. The more we do this; the bigger our zones become, and things that seemed scary or things we would never do before we learn to cope with, manage, and perhaps even enjoy. It won't happen though if you don't try. With my sad state of strumming at open mic, I know that next week won't be so bad, and if it is, I'll just tell a knock knock joke which will either be better or worse than my playing depending on the crowd. 

For now, I'm going to focus on what I can control, which is enjoying this pourover coffee and planning the up coming classes.

Jj

Middle Talk and Five minute friends

I read an article, I want to say in one of the glossy lift outs of the Sunday paper, but it could have been the interwebs about the concept that is middle talk. It's the step above small talk, where we have authentic connections with people rather than an average un-energised run of the mill interrogation.


Although being vunerable and asking a more in depth personal question can be scary, I'd choose it over the conversational version of a stale rice cracker any day. Asking people what they do for fun rather than to make a living, or what the most challenging part of their job is. Lately something I've been asking is if people would rather be able to beatbox or breakdance. Slight curveball, decision is often split. It's tricky though, because sometimes you just don't want to talk to a stranger, like me with my uber driver on the way to the airport on Sunday morning when I'd had about 45 min sleep and he had had none and wanted to play bangerz and I wanted to sit in silence (but not live with feaaaarrrrrrr, ooooohhhh whhhoooaaaaa whoooaaaaaaaaaaaa)

I've been making all kinds of middle talk for the past month as I have been on the hunt for a house, housemates, and subletters. It's like speed-dating, the ultimate challenge to put one's bestself out there.

Another concept that has been introduced to me is that of a five minute friend. A lovely lady I met in T2 (a fancy tea shop that has delicious samples and amazing brewing accessories) told me about this. You get that feeling when you walk into a shop like this one, where the sales assistant is so welcoming you end up talking about things other than the "just browsing for a birthday gift." I talked so much to this new five minute friend I ended up finding her custom jewellery company and she made me an amazing crystal (more on that later.)

I have made many Five minute friends over the million minutes of my life. Most of which are drunk girls in the bathrooms of clubs, one was a dude in a sauna who turned out to be in the psyc ward, another was while waiting in line at the night markets, a guy who loaned me a pen to fill out my departure card one time and many people at bike shops, shoe shops, health food stores and trams. 

What makes a five minute friend? 

An openness, honesty and good sense of humour
I guess it takes confidence to strike up or continue a conversation with a stranger from the usual niceties to something more enticing. 
You never know, five minute friends can turn into 15 minute friends which turns into Facebook friends, or even better, phone number friends and next thing you know you have free tickets to an art exhibition that has free alcohol and free soap (well that's in the bathroom which is part of OH&S but it's Aesop which is a luxury item and sweetens the scent of the deal somewhat) and just like that, you have a real friend.

I say it almost as much as I say "hugs and smiles are free"- but for those of you who haven't read this in a post of mine for a while- in a world where are are so connected it's so easy for us to go through the day and not connect with a single person who passes us by. When you are on hold on the phone with your internet company, five minutes is a long time. Make it a good time, every chance you have.

Apologies for no witty pictures on this post, my laptop can't right click and I have no mouse. Instead, I'll leave you with this haiku about middle talk and five minute friends.

I look in your eyes

I don't know you now I do

I feel like I'm home

Jj