I am becoming a cat lady.....

Earlier this year, I was lucky enough to get to long term look after a friend's cat as she was moving away. 

My previous housemate had a cat and I had enjoyed having a furry friend around, but wasn't on the cat market (which apparently is quite stressful and competitive, I'm not kitten.)

But lo and behold, before I knew it, he had me in the palm of his....paw.

How do you do?

The more I talk about him, the more it makes me believe I am feeling fastidiously fascinated with my feline friend. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs, to the point where I have sat outside talking to random dogs when their owner is in a shop, or gone to parties and spent more time with the dog than the guests.... but the fact that I wish that Max (the cat) could txt me or send me snap chat updates of what he's doing in the day kind of makes me want to pawse and think if I'm going a little off the radar...

That thing about how having pets makes us happier, having something to look after, something that wakes you up in the morning (to feed it or because it's licking your eyebrow) is true. Max has helped me compose songs, dance moves and overcome struggles by being a purring presence, ready to listen, lick and sit on my lap/laptop. 

Cat ladies have been depicted in pop culture (The Simpsons, A Clockwork Orange, The Office) and they are often older spinsters who choose cats as companions or are career driven. 

Well- Florence Nightingale had many cats named after famous public figures such as Gladstone and Bismarck. 

Florence was pretty smart, and I like to think I'm pretty smart- I come up with interesting ideas and suggestions, but lately all of those have had something to do with....you guessed it.

And this is why I haven't written a blog for a week. People ask "what's new with you?" in the back of my head I'm like *don't say cat * and I say, "uhhh, I bought a new hat" ?

*rhymes with cat-dammit!*

*scratch that idea*

*you have 'cat to be kitten me*

*that pun was purrfect*

*no*

*just stop*

*just paws*

*you're killin me*

*whisker away at once*

*ahhh!*

Jj

The C word

The  C word.......
at this time of the year, for many of us, the C word that is more frequently on our lips is CHRISTMAS. (I can't believe it either, one part of me still feels like it's 2013)

It's a joyous time of year, with indulgences and spending and sharing and laughing.

But that's not the C word I'm meaning.

I'm not talking about that other C word that is very rude and rhymes with "blunt" either.

I'm talking about CANCER.

As I'm writing, I'm shifting awkwardly in my chair, wondering how to approach this subject. You might be shifting in your chair too, as the C word might strike pretty close to home for you.

Like depression, motivation, compassion and self love, this is one of those touchy subjects that I could waffle on about when really, I feel like a bit of a fraud as I haven't lived them all to the extent as you or someone you may know who has mattered to you has. 

My dad, the strong, brave father of 4 was diagnosed with a tumor in his sacrum 10 years ago. Initially we thought the pain in his lower back was a sports injury- he was playing soccer, golf, cricket and running. When we found out what it was, there were a million "what ifs"

How much time? What will change? What can we do?

Through radiation, chemotherapy, two stem cell transplants and a truck load of prayer, Dad has lived the most fulfilled, loving and daring life, proving that when you learn that your life might be cut short, you can either sit back and reflect on your memories or you can go shop at Kathmandu, learn to use and ipad, and travel around the world to make new memories.

In his case: climbing Mt Fuji, going to Wimbledon, learning the piano, walking the Camino trail (100km) in Spain, taking a train across Australia, opening up and reaching out to family, and working full time (to name a few)

In terms of how Cancer has affected me- I have learned that you don't have time to hold personal grievances (especially between family members)
Grudges get you nowhere. 
Sing all you can, spend your money on memories not things. I am closer with my siblings considering we live so far away from each other, and small talk is nice, but figuring out how you can positively help the person you are talking to is so much better- whether it's by making them laugh, distracting them with a story, being interested in them or questioning them. 

I'm going to keep it simple.

Cancer sucks. It affects people who don't "deserve" it (Dad doesn't drink, smoke and is fit.)
There are people at your work, school, cafe and church who are living with it.
If you don't donate any money, donate your smile. Donate your ears, your cooking skills, your hugs.
Cherish your time, your body and your loved ones for all those who can't.

So when the stress, frivolity and materialism of Christmas starts to get under your skin, let these words put it in perspective.

"For Christmas, some of us want a new bike, a new phone, a new look, but someone living with cancer wants just one thing, to win the battle"

As I sign off this post, I'm going to send out a strong thought/prayer for those in my life affected by the C word. You are welcome to do it with me 

Jj

When things go left, go write.

“Tears are words that need to be written.”

― Paulo Coelho

With the pace of our lives ever increasing, sentiments being trimmed down to 140 characters or a series of emoji, the art of writing is starting to take a backspace. I'm not talking about how there are less people writing novels and articles (I haven't researched it and have no idea, there could be more thanks to how easy it is to blog and become an overnight success) I'm talking about putting pen to paper and going from there, starting with the date, writing about thoughts and possibly delving into hidden ideas or suppressed emotions. 

I have been writing a lot lately; and have had so much to say and nothing to say at the same time, which is why I have found a few quotes about writing from the greats. 

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

― Ernest Hemingway

Hemingway was a pretty dark fellow. Things in his life certainly went "left", like when his first love who he wanted to marry abandoned him for an Italian officer when Ernest was recuperating from his shrapnel wounds in both legs. Or when Hemingway pulled a skylight down on his head thinking he was pulling on a toilet chain in a Paris bathroom. This left him with a prominent forehead scar, which he carried for the rest of his life. And so he continued to write.

“Imagination is like a muscle. I found out that the more I wrote, the bigger it got.” 

“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.”

― William Wordsworth

Maybe write for no one, with the same abondnoment you did when you were a child writing your name in the steamy car window. 
Maybe write for yourself, a letter to discover in amongst those receipts you keep hoping to claim back on tax. 
Maybe go to write and end up doodling on the top corner of the page, starting with a swirl and rippling it out into stars, cubes and any shape your imagination produces for that fleeting moment. 

Maybe write when you are angry at your sibling for not being in touch with you.
Maybe write when you need to address the way you are being treated by a friend.
Maybe write when you have lost your job, your sense of self or even your mind. 

It doesn't have to be poetic, it doesn't have to be true, it can just be you.
Or you pretending to be someone else, like a Giant who wishes he was small, or what your Grandfather would have written to your Great Grandfather to ask to marry your Grandmother. 

It can be a list, it can be a poem, the most amazing thing is when you write something you discovered that was unknown. When things get hard to bear, bare your soul between the lines.

By being deliberate and making clear sentences, it can help out thoughts unclutter and become clearer. And you can live in the moment as you write it, and reflect over it later. 
Like making a "to do" list when you are stressed...

Make the pen your friend.

When things go left, go write. 

JJ