Something more poignant to ponder

"I can tell you from experience; the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is. Because everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart,and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart."
- Jim Carrey

(see the full video for his uplifting valedictory speech here.)

I am a firm believer in the saying that people aren't going to remember you for what you do, they will remember you for how you made them feel.

Last week, I had an interaction with someone who made me feel pretty crappy.
Last week I had another interaction with someone who I made feel pretty crappy.

As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew harm was done. I managed to reconcile the situation somewhat and believe it was actually the knock back I needed to reflect on how I was coming across and how I was making people feel.

We often get told "you're amazing" "you are so smart" "you are funny" "you are so determined" "you are so tough" and so on.
It's not as frequent that we get told " you make me feel energetic" "you make me feel weak around you" "you make me feel special" and so on.

I understand, it's not like you are having a txt conversation with your friend and they ask you to download Orange is the New Black season 3 for them and they respond with 
"Thanks, you make me feel cherished."

But when I cast my mind back to the people who have had the greatest effect on me, be it teachers, friends, family or even someone I met waiting in the portaloo line at a music festival, it's not what they said or did that had the greatest effect, but how made me feel.

This idea as been steeping in my mind over the past few days and I thought I'd share it with you. It can be hard when our job involves teaching or leading in some way to teach/lead from a place of light; sometimes to maintain authority we feel like we need to revert back to archaic methods of discipline, decorum and drilling. 

BUT to reignite creativity, innovation and learning, we as teachers, leaders, parents, friends and lovers must remember that if the effect we have on people makes them feel ashamed or afraid (or embarrassed or intimidated, to use less dramatic words) then they will disengage. The sparkle that is your smile, your time and your empathy is what engages them, so you can all 'sparkle' together.

Over the last couple of days as I've been chipping away at this blog, seeing through these glasses makes things more beautiful and balanced. 

I share this blog and I share this idea with you. Let me know what you think and maybe you can try it too.

Jj