Being the Bigger Man......

I'm not talking about winning a burrito eating contest.
Nor am I talking about the amount of hairs on your chest. (Though considering the plummeting temperatures the amount of mine is increasing)

I'm talking about how with some people and situations, the only way to win is to refuse to play.

Or choose to play the positive way.

"Being the bigger man" is about as easy to define as Lady Gaga's style, the way I see it, it can mean acting with more self-control than the other, forgiving someone or sacrificing your own opinion for the betterment of a relationship.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth is not the golden rule - Wyclef Jean taught us "two wrongs don't make a right" and our parents taught us to walk away from those pulling our pigtails and calling us Raggedy Anne (growing up with vivid freckles, it was a common alias) 
But in adult land, it can be tough to step up to forgive, or walk away from the stalemate of negative text messages and unavoided eye contact.

I guess it comes down to the desire to make things right BETWEEN you and another person being greater than being right OVER the other person.

At the moment I'm faced with a "being the bigger man brick wall" 
On one hand, I want to toss a tennis ball over the wall with a message wrapped around it saying "hey, is everything ok with us, I think we need to reconnect"

And on the other hand, I'm quite happy on my side of the wall, and feel like I have tossed my share of reconnection messages over there, only to have them glanced at and the tennis ball be demoted to a chew toy.

I have tried to be big and grown up on my side, and I guess that for the relationship to progress or process back to how it "used to be", the other person who is the piece to this puzzle needs to take a big grown up arm, wind up a throw, and toss me back one of those balls, and the thing is, I don't know, they might not even feel they need to "BTBM" or they might not be strong enough to do a big adult throw yet.

If you really feel you have done all you can and the ball is in the other person's court but they don't want to play tennis; perhaps it's just one of those situations where you accept you can't get blood out of a stone, and to let bygones be bygones and be the bigger man for yourself.

?

Now go eat that burrito.

Jj