On competition and comparison.

My travel tan has faded.

As the youngest of four children who were all very good at sport, I grew up constantly trying to prove myself. I was the one who had to hit the tennis ball against the wall, as I wasn't big / good enough to play with my siblings. As a teenager, I went to a school where sport was the main focus, and as there weren't that many girls in my year, it was clear who was better than who at what.

That competitive nature has served me well in my adult life, it's got my toe in the door in the entertainment industry, won me movie tickets (from doing the most pushups in one minute) and more. I know it is as part of me as the freckles on my face but have come to realise that it only gets one so far. When competition is drenched in ego, the focus on the result is greater than the process. This week, that competitive nature has been getting in the way like an annoying friend who always cuts your lunch. If the focus is trying to 'be the best' or keeping up with the Joneses, it's not relaxed, internal or peaceful. 

What's more, I have been applying this competitive shield in areas that are not supposed to be competitive- (like yoga, being a cool girlfriend or having a fringe that sits just right.) 
It's like being a pet surgeon and worried why you can't make a perfect almond croissant. 
It makes no sense. 
Yet it is real. 
A real thing that has been sitting in my mind all week, the way those things tend to do, getting in the way of other important things like the clothes horse gets in the way of having a tidy lounge all winter long- it kind of has a purpose, you just wish it didn't have to be so..... there. 

"When you move your focus from competition to contribution life becomes a celebration. Never try to defeat people, just win their hearts."- Bhudda

I am not saying trying to be our very best is bad. 

Pushing ones self in any area to grow and change can give us so much - change can be the fabric softener to the dirty laundry of our lives.

It's the why we are pushing ourselves.

And the how we feel if expectations aren't met, appearances are unkempt, or targets missed.

I fell into the trap.

When doing some innocent research via Instagram of Melbourne Yoga Studios, I found myself buried in a hashtag haze of comparison: #yoginis doing incredible backbends and arm balances at sunset in amazing locations, clad in sponsored leggings, tattoos and minimal body fat.

(Side note: This was the day after eating delicious amounts of home made pizza.)

(Side side note: Not sure if that helps paint the picture for you but imagine going swimsuit shopping the day after your Nan's 80th All-You-Can-Eat Buffet at the local pub- that's about how I was feeling.)

It left me feeling very deflated. For about 2 days.

 It wasted my time, as I spent about 30mins deciding what to shoes to wear to yoga this morning (YOU DON'T EVEN WEAR SHOES IN YOGA!) 

It wasted my precious energy, kept my heart heavy which showed on my face.

Comparison is rife through our communities thanks to the little devises we hold to craft our little worlds daily. I'm just happy I'm not a teenage girl. 

Comparison is a thief of joy. 

Comparison is who abuses people anonymously on the internet.

Comparison is a bad boyfriend who makes you think he is useful but isn't interested in getting to know your parents, or your stamp collection. 

Here is a helpful list of things you can do when you find yourself comparing yourself to others/photoshop/fake things.

1. Poke your tongue out and make the strangest noises you can

2. Think of a giraffe doing a tap dance

3. Look at your hands and think of all the awesome things they have done and how happy they make people when you wave at them

4. Have a cup of tea (fixes everthing)

5. Smell something natural like grass or a flower or dirt.

There's more. Maybe you can make your own list!

Jj

Biophilia

The biophilia hypothesis suggests that humans possess an innate tendency to seek connections with nature and other forms of life.^[1] Edward O. Wilson introduced and popularized the hypothesis in his book, Biophilia (1984).^[2] He defines biophilia as "the urge to affiliate with other forms of life".^[3]

Thanks Wikipedia for the insight here..... I thought I would write about Biophilia as since last time I posted the nature around me has changed. I have gone from Rishikesh at the foot of the Himalayas, surrounded by trees, the ganga, and green- to Melbourne winter; a somewhat stark, barren, sterile concrete city. 

I am writing this from the park which is a hop, skip and a jump from my place. I live in a very old townhouse which in the winter is colder outside than inside, so have taken to the park where the afternoon sun is streaming it's last sparkle before tucking away and letting the evening dew set in. I'm very fortunate to be tucked in this delightful nook of North Melbourne, close enough to the city to get amongst the action, yet here I can still hear the birds chirping and rustle and crunch of the leaves from my doorstep. 

One thing I noticed as soon as I hit Delhi airport a few weeks ago was that the rhythm of nature and the environment I was in was different to Rishikesh. I could feel all the peace from the insence and incessant "om"- ing slip from my centre and be replaced with hustle and..... even worse...bustle. You might have noticed it yourself, after a wonderful weekend away camping or at the beach, when the forest is replaced by fences of your workplace or school, the zen seems like a long lost friend.

In 2014 Dr Chris Knight from Exeter University and his fellow psychologists, concluded that employees were 15% more productive when "lean" workplaces are filled with just a few houseplants, as employees who actively engage with their surroundings are better workers. Boom- follow this link to read more about how PLANTS = PRODUCTIVITY. 

Biophilia is also why looking at and playing with baby mammals (puppies, kittens, baby goats, etc) makes up feel good. Just like our mothers made us feel better when we were hurting, Mother Nature does the same......(Insert something really deep about this is WHY we need to be better on the environment living more sustainable lives, composting, growing everything, and using keep cups.) The healing power and rhythm of nature is a strong gift we can easily take for granted, especially when the weather is drizzerable. 

I got a pretty intense fever in India for 3 days, but after our trip to a temple atop the Himalayas I was cured. Sure, could be a coincidence, or placebo, but either didn't cost me anything and made me feel amazing. 2 hours ago I hit a block with rehearsing a song and lost a bunch of confidence and could see a slope of "I'm not good/talented/smart/sexy/funny enough" ready for the sliding. But Captain Planet stopped all of that.

Who do you think should play him in a movie? Young Hugh Jackman?

One of the Hemsworths'? 

There's a connection - proven - why we feel better when surrounded by nature, be it plants, puppies or streams. Outside time, patting random dogs, talking to cats, listening to the birds, putting your fingers in the dirt, dancing in the rain like in a Ricky Martin music video- whatever it is.... Biophilia will bio-fill-ya soul with nourishment and make your heart sing.

All for the price of zero dollars and about 300 seconds.*

*or as many seconds as you like, no refunds on time and groupons are not accepted.

Jj