Exercise Caution.....

So this morning when I got to the gym to teach a Les Mills Bodystep class, there was a man on the step machine who was wearing what anyone else would call undies, as he was strutting around in a way that didn't suggest he lost his pants. He had the cheek alright. 

Maybe his bum ate them.

When he got off the machine I stopped myself from commenting on his shorts (or crack thereof) and instead said "using deodorant is no sweat you know." His response was, "excuse me honey, I'm off to the restroom and urine my way."

Then he pissed off. Cheeky bugger.

These are what they were like- except this is David Beckham which makes it less shocking (and much better) than what I saw in real life.

Only at Yarra Leisure Center would you encounter such beings. In my class I have some old classic ladies who comment on every song and always ask me for young anecdotes, like the time when I tinted my hair and it was the highlight of my day. I was also going to get my haircut but thought I'd mullet over first, as people who get complimented on their hair usually let it go to their head.

Other members who are in the gym during the day are pretty old, with their old white blood cells lymphing around their body, and whining about the air conditioning, volume of the aqua aerobics music and hair in the plughole. I overheard one say to the other "well SO-RRY that my new smile just has to denture ego." 

Make no bones about it, working at this center is an arm-full of fun and everyone puts elbow grease into their workout at the same time as finding the humerus side to it.

Like poor Jill, who broke her finger doing a clean and press. She didn't follow the rule of thumb and keep the correct grip, but she keeps smiling and coming along because on the other hand she is completely fine. 
Or Seamus, who always sports a nike tank top, bootlegs and a wee cap, and has been having troubles with his ankle. He tells me "my ankle is the arch enemy of my heel because my heel has a sole that could neither toe the line no keep instep."  I think Seamus is a literature lecturer part time because lots of the things he says, when taken literally can be quite confusing. 

Being someone who has a physical job like myself, I couldn't stand to be without my legs. It has it's perks, free gym and pool memberships, being paid to wake up and work out, and working and inspiring various characters and charac'tures......but I could never get tired of sleeping. Did you know that taller people sleep longer in bed? Just the idea of relaxing into bed at the end of the day makes me want to melt into it right now. I mean, I don't think I need a spine....it's holding me back.

I'm about to head off and do a boxing class. It's pretty rough, there's one guy with a beard and a sleeve tattoo who is really good at throwing hooks. I think he's a fisherman. Sometimes we do cross-fit exercises but that can suck if you can't get a grip.....

I'd butterfly off, I don't want to bee feeling the sting of tardiness to boxing class- it would make for a Rocky start.

Jj

*creative license has been used when talking about people

Except the man on the stepper in his undies, that actually happened. 

5,6,7,8 lessons from freestyling

Over the last three days I had the privlege of being a guest teacher at the New Zealand AJDA Congress (basically a big dance convention) in Wellington.

As well as teaching dance workshops, I also attended a couple, which were fantastic as I was being taught by teachers and examiners I had trained under as I was growing up. It was inspiring to be able to see these mentors though my now adult eyes.

One dancer/choreographer from Australia took an improvisation and freestyle workshop. It's funny that of the whole room of young dancers who had probably been training for at least five years, the majority were absolutely terrified at the idea of someone putting a piece of music on and having to dance on their own. I remember when I was in their shoes, and I guess the reason I am writing about this is to share the lessons I learnt about myself through dancing outside the comfort zone.

JB - https://www.youtube.com/user/PhlyCrew- took a fantastic session that helped the young dancers discover something new, and reconnected me with what I love- to move and create. Here's a list of some of the things he said, which are fantastic lessons for life, not only improvisation. I have added a couple too.

1. No one is ever going to be as good as me. I am never going to be as good as you. You have to have confidence in yourself as well as humility and respect.

2. You can learn more freestyling by yourself for 5 mins than I can teach you in an hour- when you experience something for yourself that's when the real lessons are learnt.

3. Feeling first, moving second, thinking last.   

4. If you turn off the part of your brain that tells you that you aren't good enough, everyone is looking at you and you are doing the same thing over and over, you can create some wonderful things.

5. Listen. The music tells you how to move, and not just the melody, the bass, the snare, the backing vocals- listen deeply and you can interpret it your way.

6. If you feel like you are doing the same move over and over, stop and change one thing about it to make it different.

7. Sometimes non-dancers make the best freestylers because they don't know any "rules" about movement. You can learn something from everyone.

8. If you say yes today, you have achieved something, and it will be easier to say yes to tomorrow. Saying no the first time only makes it harder to say yes ever again.

Jj

Mountain or molehill? Depends how you look at it

"The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close up."

Chuck Palahniuk

Or in my case, look at everything from a small aeroplane.

I have been lucky enough to have a wee holiday in a truly beautiful part of my homeland- Christchurch and the Southern Alps.

Yes, since the earthquakes of 2010 and 2011, the beauty of Christchurch and many lives were destroyed. I haven't been to this city since it was completely transformed and the empty spaces and piles of rubble really made me think about how our days are too precious to waste on worrying about trivial matters or fritter away clicking refresh.

Then I got to marvel at the magnificent masses of land from a private plane, flying over Akaroa and near the alps. I didn't only feel positive and negative g-forces as we twisted and turned at various altitudes (the sick bag was at the ready but stayed folded up)

I felt so much wonderment at the stunning green rolling hills, blue water and snow dusted mountains. My jaw dropped, eyes opened, and heart sang. The freedom of flying through the air over such a wonderful landscape was surreal, a definite "once in a life time fly-by opportunity."

Looking at the tiny dots of buildings and freckles of people below, it made me think about how sometimes we can get caught up in our own bubbles- trapped in negative headspaces and look for freedom in the wrong places.

As I've written this, I've ventured through flat country road, heading towards the mountains, which look like a postcard 1km away. There are sheep, trees and the odd house. Right now, I'm on said mountains, and although there is wifi, the sparkling snow as far as the eye can see really does help put things in perspective.

There was so much natural beauty and stillness in the drive, and the sun shining over the mountains overwhelms me to the point of implosion. 

Looking at the grand wonders of nature, the towering trees and rolling valleys and then seeing people dotted along them makes me realise that whilst we humans "run the world" as we know it (although if you ask Beyoncé, girls run it but I can't finish this blog on a feminist rant) we as humans don't make up the world. There are so many other big things that are important than someone else's opinion of you, or someone else's actions.

As TLC said "don't go chasing waterfalls"  I want you to imagine your "bigger picture"  as a massive mountain- like this one: 

See it's big, but it's also beautiful, and when you snowboard down it like I did, you'll probably find it quite fun. Sure, you'll fall on your butt occasionally and get a face full of snow, but it's possible. If little ol' me could do it, then you can too.

Jj